Butch lesbian confronted 'tens of times' in public toilets as anti-trans hostility spills over

A butch lesbian has reflected on the many times she's been confronted and harassed in public toilets as anti-trans hostility spills over in the UK.

Eloise Stonborough, 32, is a cis woman who presents as butch – and she estimates she is challenged roughly every one in three times she uses a women's public toilet.

Worryingly, these incidents have been increasing steadily over the past two years as the issue of transgender people in toilets becomes a touchpoint for those opposing trans rights.

"I think there's been tens of times someone has questioned me using the women’s toilet, and ten of those experiences have been particularly frightening – and they're just the ones I can remember," she told i .

"I have developed behaviours to minimise the risk of going into a toilet and facing abuse. If I'm going into public, you know, shared toilet rather than a single store. I'll often try and bring my girlfriend with me or a friend with me, someone who will clarify my gender by standing next to me."

On one recent occasion Stonborough was challenged by a woman as she stood quietly in line to use a toilet in a park. "She stormed off in a huff when I refused to leave," she recalled.

"One of the worst times was in an art gallery," she continued. "A man started screaming that there was 'a f**king man going into the toilet' at the top of his voice, and started following me around the gallery once I'd left the toilet. I had to tell security so he could be escorted out of the building."

There was even a confrontation at an Eddie Izzard gig, where Stonborough was driven from the toilets by a person who called her a "pervert".

"I thought it was interesting that someone who would be that aggressive towards me because they thought I was trans would want to see a trans-identifying comedian , and to not pick up on the fact that not everyone’s appearance, you know, easily correlates to their gender," she said.

Unfortunately, Stonborough is not alone: the AHRC-funded project, Around the Toilet, has noted how public toilets have become a prominent site of conflict  and a focal point for gender-critical feminism.

The issue is likely to gain more exposure in light of a government review into gender-neutral toilets, which LGBT+ advocates have described as "transphobic dog whistling".

Stonborough encourages gender non-conforming people and trans people to make their voices heard and submit their thoughts  via the consultation .

"I find it incredibly upsetting that this is a fight that is meant to be about my rights, and some sort of desire to save lesbians, as if we are going extinct," she told i .

"In practice it is making my life harder, it is making the life of my friends and my colleagues in my community [harder], it's making the lives of LBT women harder, in particular for butch and gender non-conforming people."